yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
