so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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