I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
