I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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