The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
