In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
