Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
her vagine was all disorganized.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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