'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
