Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
