the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
