Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
