drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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