a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
