Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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