anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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