Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
