i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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