Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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