so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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