That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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