he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
