i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
