i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
