My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
