p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
