At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's blow job season.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Randomize
