I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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