you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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