i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
