Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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