Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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