Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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