so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
