Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
