why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I woke up under a house in Key West
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
