I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
