Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You pole danced in your parka.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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