so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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