I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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