let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
