bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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