What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
