the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
