i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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