did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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