My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
