White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
