just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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