apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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