omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
