he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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