I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
